Growing Up Firstborn: The Pressure and Privilege of Being Number One by: Dr. Kevin Leman


Published: 1989


Non-fiction, Psychology, Family relationships, Self-actualization

Quote: "I have counceled many firstborns who felt guilty about doing anything nice for themselves. They felt that they always had to be doing, accomplishing, moving forward - and if they weren't, then they were being lazy and nonproductive." -- Dr. Kevin Leman in Growing Up Firstborn

Growing Up Firstborn discusses typical personality traits that the majority of firstborns share such as perfectionism, leadership skills, organization, being a list maker (yeah can you tell I'm a firstborn?), being scholarly, etc. It also devotes sections to "You and Your Firstborn", family relationships, and a firstborn's relationships with other people and spouses. Firstborns have many strengths and weaknesses and these are clearly discussed in the book.

This is one of the few non-fiction books I have read outside of school and it is the only psychology book I've read. I was looking on the internet for Christian marriage books and stumbled across Leman's book, The Birth Order Book. After reserving that at the library, I also picked up Growing Up Firstborn. It is amazing how acurate both of these books described me and my family. I recommend that all firstborns and parents read Growing Up Firstborn and that anyone who is in a relationship with another person read The Birth Order Book. Both of these also discuss only children, who have similar characteristics to firstborns. Have you ever read anything about birth order or if you are a firstborn have you read anything about your position in the family? What do you think about these concepts? Did you find it helpful?